And so it is

So last night at Kinesiology Club, a past president of the club came back to speak about the PT program she’s in at MGH. Anyone who really knows my career goals knows that I’ve been obsessed with the idea of going here for grad school for about a year now, even though I’m only a freshman. When it comes to academics, I’m a planner. I like to know what lies ahead of me to make sure that nothing falls through the cracks.

The first half of her talk made everything sound really awesome, and made me really eager. Ranked 7th in the world, yearlong paid internships, 100% certification pass & employment rate, avg. accepted GPA a 3.3. But when she started talking about how incredibly hard it is, it made me really scared and start to second guess all of my goals. Maybe I’m not cut out for it. Maybe I need a serious plan B. What if i’m not smart enough? What if I get in and flunk out, wasting my time and money? Whenever I hear about how incredibly hard something will be, i like to think that I’m up for the challenge, but get overwhelmed once I’m actually immersed in the work.

I know that a lot of my friends will be in the same situation since they’re pre-med. I’m trying not to question everything I’ve been striving for, and I don’t want to take the easy way out. I’m afraid that 2 years of hell will be incredibly draining. My sisters will be off doing their undergrad, loving life, while I’ll be pulling out my hair. But i know that if I put in the time and effort I’m more than capable. So, my plan as of today is to take a year off after undergrad ends. whether that means applying, accepting, and then deferring a year, or waiting to apply. I want my doctorate, and I will get it!

What can I say, I’m a planner.